CrankySec

Commodified

All else being equal, nearly all cybersecurity jobs suck. I mean, if you remove the "I need to make money to live" component from the equation, I'd guess that some 97% of cybersecurity jobs would be unfilled forever. Why? Because, deep down, people want to do meaningful things. Or work with interesting people. Or work with interesting technology. Or have a positive impact. The overwhelming majority of jobs offer none of these things. Yet, we see a lot of people jumping through extremely convoluted hoops just to get their foot on the door: you put on this disguise, your best fake smile, and you swallow your pride for a shot at making half of what you think you should. You subject yourself to this kind of bullshit because you don't have any other options. You need to eat, and you've spent time and money learning and getting better at this because that's what people told you since forever: work hard and you'll be rewarded. All this effort can't possibly have been for nothing.

This battle is asymmetric, much like every other labor issue under the sun: one side holds all the power; you either conform or starve. You might have a very narrow window to be on the winning side if you go to the right school, if you know the right people, if you manage to be perceived as someone who will make powerful people look good. And I use "powerful people" here very loosely: from your position, any moron in middle management is "powerful." At least more powerful than you. And you know how petty tyrants operate, right? "Amuse me, jester, for I hold your livelihood in my hands" is a tempting mindset for a certain class of people.

Jump through hoops you do. You comply. Things that would otherwise be non-negotiable in your professional life suddenly become negotiable, including your personal time. You're expected to play your part in this big theater, no room for authentic improvisation. And you're expected to be part of everyone else's little theater plays, too. Every Great Places to Work questionnaire, every corporate town hall, every RACI matrix, every "sprint", every Confluence page, every question about "t-shirt sizes" are there to give the impression that what everyone's doing matters. Most of the time, it doesn't. Every time you receive an invite to a meeting hosted by Deloitte to figure out your "Business Chemistry Type", you have to wonder if the insane number under the "Money to be spent on the Big 4" line item could've been spent on Nancy, who has a master's degree and was making gas station cashier money before being laid off alongside 50 other people. Can decompile a binary with pen and paper? Who gives a shit?

This fucks with your mind because it very much is cognitively dissonant. Why are we playing this game in the first place when the outcome has been determined from the get go? Why are we bringing in a complete fool of a CISO when we could hire 10 people to do actual work and give our folks a breather? Why in the fuck is this utter clown being promoted instead of, I don't know, literally anyone else? It's not because they are more adept than you at the job. It's because they know the people who matter. Creating yet another Workday account to apply for a job is for the plebes. You get that sweet gig by rubbing elbows with the people who can get you that sweet gig, not by clicking "Apply with LinkedIn." If you don't have that skillset, you're fucked. Shy? Introverted? Neurodivergent? Have a modicum of self-awareness? You'll be stuck with being a cog in someone else's incredibly uninspired career plan. Your whole professional journey has gotten you the same status as printer toner: "consumables." You're a commodity and the price is tanking.

We are trying to do something about it, but it takes a lot of us because leveling the playing field requires number. Join us so we can all come up with something better. At the very least, you'll have a place where you can vent, bitch, moan, name names, and get shit out of your chest. You can also wear your disdain for Workday. See you there.